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A Game of Chance: The Life & Death Reality of Coming Out as Queer & Christian

Jamie Arpin-Ricci
16 min readMar 3, 2020
(photo by Kat J / art by Jamie Arpin-Ricci)

(Content Advisory: Suicidal ideation discussed. )

With the advantage of hindsight, it might seem obvious to some people that I was never destined to be a dyed-in-the-wool straight guy. When I tell my queer friends today that even as a young kid I hated sports, loved musical theatre, and watched ‘The Golden Girls’ religiously, they exchange knowing glances that scream “Denial!” I know they jest, but I generally wave them off. After all, stereotypes are only true until they are not. I know plenty of hetero men who fit that bill, after all.

And in truth, I was never in denial. I simply had no idea that I wasn’t straight until well into high school. Perhaps, in part, it had to do with the fact that I seemed to live my entire life in two worlds at the same time. Born in a small border town in Minnesota to Canadian parents, I lived my life as a citizen of two countries. While my father is an English speaking Italian-Canadian, my mother comes from old French Canadian stock, growing up with both English and French spoken around me every day.

Even my spiritual life seemed to constantly straddle borders- I attended an evangelical church, went to a Mennonite school, participated in a Pentecostal youth group, and occasionally went to mass with my Catholic grandmother. None…

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Jamie Arpin-Ricci
Jamie Arpin-Ricci

Written by Jamie Arpin-Ricci

Jamie Arpin-Ricci is a bisexual author & activist with more than 25 years experience living at the intersection of faith, sexuality, and justice.

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