Being Bi At Pride
Every year during Pride month, it has become something of a tradition for my family and our neighbours family to attend events together with our kids. My neighbour and I both identify as bisexual/pansexual. We are also both married to opposite-sex partners. Often upon arriving my neighbour’s husband and I are walking together with my son, with our wives walking together with the little ones.
As we merge with the crowd, it is easy to see on the faces of those passing us that they presume we are a set of gay and lesbian couples. There are lots of smiles and greetings, with “Happy Pride!” being exchanged endlessly. However, when we return to stand with our partners, there is a shift. It isn’t always explicit (though having “Breeder” muttered at me is not uncommon). Rather, it is a clear cooling in the reception we receive- if we receive any response at all.
This is one of the tensions I feel every year as I attend public Pride events with my family. Far too many bisexual folks in straight-presenting relationships are ignored, dismissed, or even openly rejected from fully participating in the celebrations- and ultimately in the community we so long to be a celebrated part of. While bisexual erasure is becoming less common, it is still a widely prevalent reality in our communities.
And these dynamics are far from limited to Pride, though they seem to be amplified…