I’ve come to dislike the term “bully”. Because of its common association with the playground antics of children, the seriousness of its impact and harm is often understated or lost. Whether addressing genuinely harmful mistreatment of a child by another or naming similar dynamics among adults, we seem conditioned to interpret “bullying” as less severe than it actually is. Other terms hold more weight, such as tormenting, harassing, and even oppressing.
Oppression By Any Other Name
It is this last term, “oppression”, that I believe needs to be reasserted. This can be tricky, however, because it suffers from the opposite problem that “bullying faces”, namely that people think it is too strong a term to use in most day-to-day situations, suited only for large-scale, systemic issues. However, it is defined as ongoing cruelty and mistreatment, and/or forcible control. Ask kids who have been subject to unaddressed “bullying” and they will tell you that the shoe fits.
Author and activist DeRay Mckesson explains that the intentions of the bully/oppressor are:
“…to harm you and then convince you that no damage was done or that you deserved it. He aims to strip you of your power, to normalize the…