“I Am Straight But My Husband Is Bi. Why Do People Treat Me So Badly?” Ask Me Anything
In this week’s “Ask Me Anything” column, I am answering a question that several readers have asked in different ways but with the same general theme. So the question and the “asker” below are a composite. In truth, over the years this is a very common question I receive and one that is generally asked with great care and trepidation:
Dear Jamie,
I am a straight, cisgender woman and I am married to a bisexual man. I fully embrace and celebrate his bisexual identity and spend time learning more about bisexuality and the broader LGBTQ+ community in order to be a support. We love each other and are very happily married!
Yet, when people talk to us about his bisexuality, there are often questions asked, comments made, and assumptions thrown around that are quite hurtful, especially from other LGBTQ+ folks. For example, some will say his bisexuality isn’t real but just a step on the way to being gay. Or when they find out he is married to me, they make comments or looks that suggest they question the legitimacy of our relationship. Some have even accused me of robbing him of the chance to be intimate with a man, despite our mutual commitment to monogamy.
In the end, I am left feeling like I am merely his “beard”, that I could…