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“Should I Tell My Fiancé That I’m Bisexual?” Ask Me Anything

Jamie Arpin-Ricci
4 min readMar 11, 2022
(Banner art by Jamie Arpin-Ricci)

Today I launch the first of my weekly advice column where I answer questions from readers about sexuality, faith, justice, or whatever crosses their minds. This first question is one that I hear a fair bit, so it was an easy choice for my first reply:

Dear Jamie,

I am a bisexual man who is not out to anyone. I am engaged to be married to an amazing woman that I love (and who loves me). We both are fully and happily choosing to be practice monogamy in our relationship. The thing is, I’ve never told her that I am bisexual and I am not sure if I should.

Hear me out: We plan on being together in a monogamous marriage for “as long as we both shall live”. We’re both virgins and have no interest in being with anyone else. I know she won’t love me any less if I told her, but I know it would probably make her nervous and uncertain.

Given all of that and since I never want to…

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Jamie Arpin-Ricci
Jamie Arpin-Ricci

Written by Jamie Arpin-Ricci

Jamie Arpin-Ricci is a bisexual author & activist with more than 25 years experience living at the intersection of faith, sexuality, and justice.

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