The Complex Problem of Bisexual Denial
When a close friend of mine came out to me as bisexual, it was a beautiful and exciting moment. For them, it was a moment of newfound confidence, freedom, and self-awareness. For me, it was the honour to be trusted with this news, as well as the joy of having another close friend who shared something of my experience as a bisexual person. Like myself, they were in a committed relationship with someone of a different gender, another unique (and often challenging) dynamic that I understood all too well. I was excited by where our friendship would go as we supported each other in being our fullest, truest selves.
A year later, my friend (having recently amicably ended her marriage with her husband) informed me that they were seeing a woman. Again, I was excited for them, as I knew how nervous they were about dating women for the first time and this new relationship was going very well. And again, we celebrated another step on her journey. A few months later, I reached out to her again with some bisexual resources I’d come across. Her reply was polite but very brief: “I don’t identify as bisexual anymore. I’m a lesbian now.”