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The Difficult Work of the Oppressed Oppressor
Growing up as a closeted bisexual man in a conservative, evangelical community- all while being the student council president of my Christian high school, a principal actor in our church drama team, and openly dedicated to a lifetime of missionary service- meant that I carried a fair amount of trauma early on. Years later, when I had both fully come out and declared my fully LGBTQ+ affirming theology, I went on to lose my job of 25 years, writing and speaking opportunities, and most of the community I counted as close as family.
From wildly unstable mental health to enduring public death threats, I think it is fair to say that I have experienced genuine oppression. And yet, while not mitigating the impact of those experiences, I am also a white, cisgender man living in a place where that affords me significant amounts of privilege- privilege that comes at the expense of other oppressed groups.
So how do I reconcile these two seemingly irreconcilable dynamics?
While that question is an ongoing process, I came across a phrase that put it into sharp focus for me: the Oppressed Oppressor. This term, which I first heard in reference to sexism within BIPOC communities, denotes those who face oppression/discrimination on the basis of one or more intersections of their identity (i.e. being black) while enjoying…