(photo by Perry Grone)

In the process of coming out as a bisexual Christian who is fully affirming (that is, I believe God fully affirms and celebrates LGBTQ+ people and their relationships equal to straight/cisgender folks), I have faced a lot of intensely difficult responses. There have been those who have directly and unequivocally questioned my integrity, my motives, and even the quality and substance of my faith and salvation. Even more painful has been when such a betrayal comes where you least expect it. Yes, it is painful coming from family and friends, even when you knew what to expect. However, when a relationship that has depth and trust, it can be especially harmful when the rug is pulled out from under you.

That what makes those in the ambiguous middle so terrifying. Who are the “ambiguous middle”? They can be difficult to define. These are the people who share our affirming view but would “rather not talk about it”. These are the people who don’t hold an affirming view but privately tell us “they stand with us” (while never defining what that means). These are the people who will be the best of friends privately but seem never able (or willing) to associate with us in public, usually with “innocent” reasons. The variations are many. However, it is in their shared ambiguity that LGBTQ+ Christians (and LGBTQ+ in general) face the greatest risk.

So why do I find these people the most difficult? While the reasons may vary in the details, one common…